HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Comedian and talk show host George Lopez has just announced that he is divorcing his wife, Ann, of 17 years.
Lopez remarked that for the past year his marriage has been one big giant roller coaster ride of emotions. He added that he has become extremely dizzy, confused, bitter, and thirsty from all of the arguing.
The comedian says that his wife will get custody of their 17-year-old daughter Mayan Azteca Pyramid Lopez since her mother lets her date and he does not.
George will get to keep the family dog Mr. Nads.
Ann Lopez will get the house in the Hollywood Hills, the BMW, the Lexus, and the Cadillac Seville. George will get the trailer house in La Habra plus the 57 Chevy low rider, the 58 Ford low rider, and the 59 Pontiac low rider.
Plus he gets to keep the autographed Fernando Valenzuela baseball shirt, the Manny Ramirez autographed baseball cap, and the Salma Hayek autographed Victoria's Secret Bra.
SIDENOTE: Ann Lopez wanted to set the record straight by saying that she did not, as FOX News was erroneously reporting, ask George to give her back her kidney which she gave to him in an operation in 2005.