Written by Xavier
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 10 October 2010

image for Apple launch special phone for prisoners

Always eager to find new gaps in the shrinking mobile phone market, Apple believe they are on to a winner with the new Icon phone, designed specifically for prisoners' use.

The phone is small, only the size of your thumb, and has a Teflon coating making it non-stick and easy to slip into hard to search body orifices.

It has a built in camera for those money-making tabloid exclusive photographs and sound recording technology to record confessions in the punishment block.

Instead of a ringer it has a pulsating vibration alarm so prisoners can just slip it out easily to answer calls.

The long-life battery can be charged by sticking its two probes into an orange (or lemon).

It comes ready loaded with drug dealer information for the whole of the UK and its special GPS facility allows accurate information during escapes.

To pass the time it has 15 great built-in games.

Apple say the new Icon represents a step forward in phone design and should find many users inside and outside of jail establishments.

It is due to be launched on Friday, at HMP Holloway, when 25 phones will be thrown over the wall at midnight.

A Prison Guard's Union official said that the new phone would not go down well with warders since they each make many thousands of pounds a year selling phones to the cons.

Make Xavier's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 4?

4 20 14 24

Go to top