Senior Managers in the NHS, and by god there are hundreds and thousands of them, are to receive fat cats as part of a new pay deal.
The new deal, which would see a senior managers pay rise by one fat cat, is part of an initiative by the new health secretary to "attract and retain" cat lovers within the service.
The health secretary said:
"This is a new pay deal which will take us into the twenty second century, we're creating a modern health service and paying high calibre people with fat cats is part of that modernisation. Other health service staff will be receiving similar payments, some will be paid with goats and others will be paid with squeky door hinges, we in the labour party believe this is the best way to pay modern NHS staff in a modern world."
The shadow health secretary said:
"What a load of crap. Why can't they be paid with money. This is another attempt by the government to cover up it's failing policies, our policies on NHS pay clearly state that all NHS staff would be paid equally. They would all be paid with balls of fluff."