Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Topics: Police, Dogging

Friday, 8 October 2010

image for Doggers get police protection
Fuck off, we're having sex!

Police officers around the UK have been given guidelines to help them protect people who engage in dogging from hate crimes.

Chief Superintendent Phil McCavity, from Burgess Hill police station said, "Having sex in public places is only a crime when somebody complains, or if it has an adverse impact on members of the public who visit the same location. Sometimes we receive complaints from the public, but mostly we get complaints from the doggers themselves. They have rights and deserve not be targets of hatred".

There have been incidents when doggers' cars have been vandalised and daubed with insulting graffiti. One dogger, who wished to remain anonymous, described how, last Friday, while his wife was sucking her eighth cock of the evening and being DP'd by several off-duty police officers, somebody shouted 'Slut' at her and sprayed a cheap anal lube all over the car. Other doggers have been subjected to lengthy moral lectures from enraged local residents.

Police will now attend public car parks, local beauty spots and other dogging venues at night. As well as protecting doggers from angry local residents, they will also provide advice on safe sex, spare condoms, wet wipes and hot towels. They will also provide details of alternative routes and locations to dog walkers, ramblers and children who want to play hide and seek in the woods.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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