Written by matthatt
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Topics: Health, NHS, Pubs

Thursday, 7 October 2010

image for Pubs to become NHS care centres
Two pints of lager and a cracket of pisps please

In an effort to save the huge amounts of money, wasted each year in England on Ambulance crews and petrol, used in fetching booze fuelled malcontents to hospitals, the NHS trust are taking the unusual step of installing a fully staffed Emergency Care Centre in most major pubs the length and breadth of Britain.

The deal was struck between The Health Ministers office and a major brewery that needed to find extra funding or go into receivership.

It is believed that this will be a huge step towards slashing spending, as 73% of Accident & Emergency calls are drink related, this figure is reported to double on Fridays, along with Saturdays, and Sundays, and to a large extent Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, although figures were not available at the time of going to press, it is assumed that Thursdays may show a similar increase.

A press launch by the health minister's office was to be held in the brewery HQ which would have included a drinking session for staff and reporters, but they were unable to organise it to a satisfactory standard.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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