A massive first for the Daily Mail, who recently published an article which will cause more controversy than Justin Beiber.
As it turns out, we're not going to die after all. Risks of cancer are totally fake. There will be no R2D2 virus. As it turns out, we're all going to lead perfectly happy lives.
And doesn't that scare the shit out of you more?
The newspaper, which oft prints headlines along the lines of "We're all going to die" on a regular basis, came out admitting it was "Making shit up to scare people" and was filled with "LIES LIES LIES!". A previous article also titled "LIES LIES LIES" was a sublime reference to the contents of the pages.
The new tactic follows as critics try to address a recent problem: sales of toilet roll decreased as Daily Mail sales increased. Thought to be because paper is full of bullshit anyway.
More on this as we get it.