Conservative Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has caused outrage in a speech in which he says that, rather than scrapping Child Benefit, he is to put a proposition to the House of Commons that a 'childbirth limit' is to be set, to prevent people from having families that are too large.
The limit he proposes is 1.9 children per family.
Osborne, a former data entry clerk who also spent a brief spell at Selfridges - not exactly perfect preparation for controlling the country's finances - MW - made the astonishing comments to placate those who faced having their family allowance taken away, but has now angered everyone planning to have a second child.
Osborne, real name George Gideon Oliver Osborne, is a huge fan of chairman Mao Tse Tung, and hopes to implement the China-like kid-prevention scheme before Christmas, so that he can ruin that as well.
This afternoon, a succession of men dressed in multi-coloured suits and armed with pipes was admitted to 10 Downing Street, from wherein a mystical and alluring sound could be heard by those outside.
Rats fled the scene in droves.