Written by IN SEINE
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Topics: Police, Internet, Crime

Sunday, 3 October 2010

image for Police Chief Warns of Increase in Cyber Crime
Graph showing the increase In Cyber Crime

A police commissioner has warned that there will definitely be an increase in cyber crime both this year and next. Even as he spoke, somebody had stolen 4 laptops from his office. "Obviously, this proves a point!" he said.

In Seine News found out from a friend who is a Freemason that following the government's announcement of cutbacks in the numbers of uniformed policemen walking the beat in public, they invented this excuse as a smokescreen to make it more acceptable to the public.

The commissioner added; " In the good old days we had as many as 2,000 officers walking the beat at any one time. Now we have only 4, which will shortly be cut to 2 and even they will have to go together because it is not safe to go out alone! The other 2 will be employed in the office fighting cyber criminals - these are the worst type of criminals, because they are the ones that have robbed the good old English taxpayer of his hard-earned money that keeps us in a job!"

"It's a vicious circle really - the more people that are laid off, the more that will seek to pass away their time on the Internet and statisticians project that over 75% will turn to cyber crime in some way or other - whether it's watching pornography, selling stolen goods on eBay or stalking people on Facebook - these are all crimes for which you can be sent to prison. It is quite evident that there will be not enough prisons to hold these people and so new ones will have to be built."

"Looking on the bright side, there is light at the end of the tunnel; there will be plenty of employment for people in the building trade - exciting times are ahead!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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