Written by Joe Leff
Print this

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Dig this, gardening expert Alan Titchmarsh has been recruited as the top celebrity to take part in Channel 4's Reality TV contest 'The Village' in Wharfedale.

"Looking round Grassington, I've noticed that some of the residents need a bit of a rake-over, " he said. "And I'm sure I'll be able to tell them where to shove all that horse shit lying about in the streets."

If he wins more votes that the other 14 contestants, his prize will be a house in the village.

"I think Sycamore Cottage is ideal for a bit of gardening and pottering about, and watching the rain outside."

Alan Titchmarsh likes to water his garden just after it rains. "You can't trust rain these days," he says. "It always misses bits. Years ago it used to sile down. But it never does now. Besides, this garden's on a bit of a slope. Water needs to come in at the right angle."

With advice like that, the future looks swimmingly good for Grassington in Bloom.

Make Joe Leff's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 1?

5 23 3 12
58 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more