Written by j.w.
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Topics: Health, Health Care, NHS

Saturday, 2 October 2010

image for 'We Should Pay for Health Care'
Tory Election Manifesto Takes Shape

A memo for circulation at the Conservative Party Conference has been given to your ever diligent reporter. It will make some people ill.

The unsigned memo argues that wealthy people should not get free bus passes, free dental check ups, the winter fuel allowance or - which is the new one - any free health care.

'People can afford to pay for health care. They have enough money. It should not be a universal benefit' argues the document 'there should be means testing and those who can pay should pay.'

'This makes me sick' said a Tory delegate 'my son needs constant medical care and with these proposals I will have to pay.'

The Tory High Command has been quick to dismiss the memo as a fantasy. 'The Health Service has always been safe with us' said David Cameron. 'Until now' squeaked George Osborne. The savings we could make on this matter are enormous. Trident would be safe and we wouldn't have to put a levy on Banks. We could reduce Income tax.'

Will Osborne win the day? Delegates are divided about 50 50 on the issue. Some see this as liberation from bureaucratic State control, others as electoral suicide - or actual suicide for a number of people.

No one was prepared to take the temperature of the Conference before being paid. 'They have Ashcroft's millions. They can afford it' claimed a Doctor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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