Written by Xavier
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Friday, 1 October 2010

A row has broken out after Anne Widdicome appeared on Strictly Come Dancing wearing just a G-string and flimsy lacy bikini top doing the Rumba.

As she was swung around the dance floor by Anton, kicking her legs higher than her shoulders and flinging her bust over both of his shoulders at the same time, and shimmying like a buffalo with malaria - the country sat back in awe - jaws in lap - just before it vomited.

Anne, that loveable rogue from the Tory past, said she only took part because she felt left out of the limelight and didn't want to be forgotten; the £200,000 had nothing to do with it.

The judges were divided. Craig said she looked like a demented nun on a day out in Blackpool whilst George said she reminded him of something but, thankfully, it was long forgotten.

When she finished everybody got to their feet and headed to the bathroom as Brucie stood glued to the spot, moving only to pick up her hairpiece which fell off half way through her routine.

The BBC later admitted that choosing a song with the words;

"Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me
And I'm too sexy for this song."

might have been a mistake.

The costume designer apologised for the poor stitching in her costume which came apart progressively as she went through her routine which ended with Anton trying to reattach her upper costume. Brucie shouted, "Hold it together" at which Anne snapped, If I do I will lose my bleeding knickers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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