Written by Xavier
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Thursday, 30 September 2010

image for British Rail Workers in Work to Rule
Trains running to time at Liverpool Street Station

British Rail workers have been working to rule in support of their latest 57% pay claim.

Workers have been arriving at work on time, not taking 'sickies' and driving trains at the correct speed whilst observing signals.

BR managers say that for the first time in the history of BR all the trains are running and they are on time.

Cleaning staff have been washing trains so, unusually, passengers can see out of the windows and know where they are.

Station announcements have been made so passengers can understand them and passengers are being sent to the correct platform.

Ticket staff have been polite to customers and have sold them the correct fare ticket instead of the most expensive.

Platforms have been swept and tunnels washed with grafitti and chewing gum removed.

Passengers tell of toilets that work and flush, refreshment trolleys appearing on trains where they were never seen before and guards helping disabled passengers board trains.

A senior manager said that the work to rule has been so successful they plan to cut wages by 25% so the action can continue.

A union spokesbrother spoke bitterly at the exploitation of the workers. "We believe in half a days work for a fair day's pay."

The government, meanwhile remained deathly silent; they have been trying to get a train to run on time for nearly 160 years without success. So pleased are they with the current situation they are pressing TFL to cut busmen's wages in an effort to get them to work to rule. 30% of buses leave the depot and are not seen again until close of shift.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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