A bastion of the latex dunkie has announced that it is to launch a new range of vegetarian condoms.
The old flavours such as Lamb and Mint, Beef Strogonov and Sweaty Groin are going out of flavour as many of the country's lovers are turning vegetarian.
The first of the new flavours - Nut Cutlet - will be in chemists, hairdressers and motorway service toilets by Christmas. Three further flavours; Saute Mushrooms, Tofu Bake and Asaragus Heads will be available in the new year.
Daphne McFiddle, chairlady of the Gobblers Collective, explained that many vegetarians don't like the taste of meat in their mouths and the new veggie condoms should be a good hit.
A special Truffle flavour is being developed for France whilst the Italians are thought to favour Tomato.