Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 29 September 2010

image for Bones, Brennan & Booth "All Lies" Say Bonkers
The FBI - closed to tourists, including the Bonkers!

Two British tourists have returned from Washington DC furious about a successful TV show's "lies" and the rudeness of the FBI.

Ken and Liz Bonkers, of Harlesden, north London, visited the US capital hoping to watch the subjects of the hit TV show Bones in action.

The show features the investigations of forensic scientist Temperance 'Bones' Brennan and FBI agent Seeley Booth.

Said Mrs Bonkers: "We're spitting furious. We went all the way over there and found out that Bones is all lies!

"What on earth do these people think they're doing, showing a whole series of lies?

"I mean we traipsed up Pennsylvania Avenue to the FBI building - and me with my leg and all - and tried to get in. But the uniformed bloke on the door wouldn't let us in.

"He said some code thing about '9/11' but wouldn't explain. So we hung about hoping to see Brennan and Booth - but they never showed up.

"We thought they might be in the Royal Diner and asked the uniformed bloke where that was - but he looked at me as if I was stupid and told us to move on. So rude!"

The Bonkers also failed to trace the Jeffersonian Institute where 'Bones' works with colleagues such as Jack Hodgins.

"No-one knew what we were talking about," added Mr Bonkers. "One nasty piece of work sent us all the way to some monument near the river - but it was just a temple thing with a statue in it! That was hard on Liz, what with her leg.

"All we wanted was to watch one of Hodgins's experiments.

"We have been very disappointed with everything and everyone at Washington. We wrote to their tourism department and the White House to complain but they haven't responded."

A spokesman for Washington DC tourism said: "We're sorry Mrs and Mrs Bonkers didn't enjoy their visit, but we would point out that they should have checked their facts first."

Asked if the Bonkers' experience was common, the spokesman said: "Not at all. They must be the stupidest people on Earth. Are there many more like that in the UK?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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