Classified documents which were leaked to the scientific community this week contain the alarming revelation that alien visitors have been making covert raids on pound shops across the length and breadth of Britain.
Apparently the aliens are suckers for a bargain and have been carrying out the overnight shopping sprees for years, shipping out with after dinner mints, cuppa soups, disposable lighters, batteries, scouring pads, lightbulbs, reading glasses, bunches of plastic flowers, photo frames, screwdrivers, books, posters and a host of similar items.
The documents also reveal that the aliens are scrupulously honest, and that they never leave the stores without paying for their purchases. It seems it's common for pound shop staff to open up in the morning to find depleted stocks, and piles of pound coins left neatly on the checkouts.
Threlwell Threadwell, a pound shop manager from Thurrock told Skoob News:
"We've been aware of the aliens doing their overnight pound-shopping for years now, and we're quite happy about it. They've never been any bother. One time there was a bad smell when we opened up, and a little puddle of a blue, gel-like material on the store floor, but otherwise everything was okay. We're not in the least concerned. They're better behaved than a lot of the chavs and scumbags we get in store during regular opening hours."
It appears that the biggest mystery surrounding this bizarre phenomenon is: Where do the aliens get their pound coins from?
More as we get it.