Written by Noshing Mink
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Topics: Police, Cats, Wheelie Bin

Monday, 27 September 2010

image for Man who dialled 999 because stray cat entered his house gets dumped in bin for wasting police time
Cute and harmless cat sparked 999 call

A man who dialled 999 because a stray cat had walked through his back door into his kitchen was criticised today for wasting police time and has been dumped in a bin.

The man, from Gloucester, was politely told to pick up the cat and put him out. Then the police called his neighbour and politely told him to pick up the man and put him in a bin.

The emergency services get dozens of unnecessary calls each year, with people ringing up about such silly things as not feeling well or an intruder entering their house. A spokesman for the police said "People should stop being such moaning ninnies and try and sort out their own problems themselves. If the police or ambulance services had to respond to every call, then we would never get to any of them on time."

A leaflet will be issued later this week advising people what to do in a range of emergencies. For example, if a Jehovah's Witness rings your doorbell, it is suggested that you pretend to be Polish and not speak English. If your neighbour's burglar alarm goes off, you are advised to ring his doorbell to let him know. And, if you have a severe chest pains, you should wait 15 minutes If you are still alive after that, it was probably just gas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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