Written by Nick Hobbs
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Monday, 27 September 2010

image for Coalition Government To Release 'Sexy Calendar'
Chris Huhne, Miss July.

The U.K's coalition government are set to release a 2011 sexy calendar, sources say.

The photo shoot has already begun, with sessions taking place in Hyde Park and the Houses Of Parliament.

Exact details of the pictures are being closely guarded, but several top ranking MP's have been seen in make up, moments before being whisked away to secret shoots.

The calendar is thought to be in the style of the famous Womens Institute 'Calendar Girls' theme.

An insider told us "George Osbourne was overheard in a corridor telling someone that he was off to do a shoot. It was to involve absolute nudity, but with a bowl of fruit obscuring his netherwheres!"

Kenneth Clarke was seen wearing a chiffon scarf and satin slippers, before getting into a car and being driven away. Our reporter tried to follow, but a dummy car was employed, and he lost him.

Opposition officials have condemmed the idea as 'abhorent'. "We find the idea of looking at Chris Huhne naked for a month, totally disgusting," said Labour leader Ed Milliband, "David Cameron's alright, and I wouldn't mind looking at Nick Clegg for a while, but the rest of them? Eurghh."

A letter was posted to Parliament by us in an attempt to uncover the truth behind the story. We addressed it simply to 'Miss August, C/O The Coalition'. We understand it was put in to Vince Cables in-tray. Proof, if ever there was some, I feel.

The coalition would not respond to our questioning, save only to say 'no comment' as all good politicians do!

Fresh news has come in to confirm William Hague is to be shot in a bath. We live in hope.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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