Written by Don Merlot

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Sunday, 26 September 2010

image for Barry Chuckle Wins Labour Election Contest

Barry Chuckle defeated brother Paul in as closely fought leadership contest the Labour Party has ever seen.

The vote swung back and forth in the complicated election system, as fellow candidates Orville the Duck, Grotbags from ITV (circa 1980s) and Sooty dropped out of the running.

On being announced as leader, the junior Chuckle told the assembled conference:

"We thought we could keep doing that whole 'To me, to you' thing with the voting - and we did for a while... but after two decades of hammering that particular catchphrase, even we've grown tired of it... so he let me have the job."

In other news, David and Ed Miliband had their quiz show on children's TV cancelled by weary BBC bosses. Younger brother Ed - the permanently jaundiced, ill-looking one with a rubbery face - flapped his elastic mouth a bit at reporters outside Broadcasting House:

"It's a massive kick in the nuts."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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