Written by alexc
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Topics: David Cameron

Sunday, 26 September 2010

image for Cameron: My baby has to learn the perils of homelessness before its too late

Prime Minister David Cameron has sensationally revealed the reason behind his decision to dump his baby in a cardboard box and leave it to sleep on the streets.

Cameron said such actions were necessary to illustrate the perils and dangers of homelessness to the month-old baby.

Cameron said he was inspired by his own privileged childhood, where he says he was wrapped in cotton wool by his loving parents.

"As a baby I was never exposed to a cold autumn night living rough on the streets" said Cameron "and this may have resulted in me being a little too soft and precious. So I resolved to give my own children a thorough education in how the most unfortunate and underprivileged in our society live".

Cameron says he will continue to apply such "shock and awe" tactics to the baby as it continues to grow and said he is currently toying with the idea of dumping her in an African savannah on her second birthday to teach her how to fend for herself against vicious, hungry predators.

The Prime Minister also encouraged other parents to do the same, saying that exposing their children to "significant danger" and "high levels of trauma" would prevent them from become "idle and worthless welfare scroungers like the vast majority of this crap, broken country I have the misfortune of leading".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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