Written by Bill Licks
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Sunday, 26 September 2010

image for Third Miliband brother found working in Asda
Lineker and Shearer talking utter bollocks as ever

As Ed beat David in the Labour leadership challenge, customers at the Asda in Dulwich were shocked to find the third Miliband brother collecting trolleys form the supermarket car park.

'It's uncanny' said 90 year old shopper Hilda Lineker, 'I was stood in the shop doorway getting in everyone's way when all of a sudden a man walked past me pushing a row of shopping trolleys.'

'I literally did a double take as I looked at his face and I immediately recognised him as the third Miliband brother that no one ever talks about.'

'I think his name was Barry or maybe Kevin but I'm a bit short sighted so I couldn't read his name badge.'

Another shopper, 86 year old Gladys Shearer confirmed the sighting. 'It's almost as if he'd been separated from Ed or David at birth. He had the same funny shaped head as Ed and the same sticky out ears like David. He asked me a question but I couldn't understand what he said as he spoke so posh and I'm a little hard of hearing anyway.'

When questioned about one of their employees being related to the new leader of the opposition, a spokesperson for Asda said, 'This could be a case of mistaken identity by a couple of senile old coffin dodgers. Besides, as far as I'm aware the Milibands don't have another brother.'

However, in his victory speech Ed Miliband made a coded reference that could confirm the sighting in Dulwich as being genuine.

'I know we lost trust, I know we lost touch.' He said to the Labour Party members.

'Give us a call Gary you lazy, fat fucker and you, me and Dave can go for a few celebratory beers you trolley pushing twat.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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