In a recent incident in a Northern hospital complex a chavtastic teenager who swaggered into Ward 101 for a back operation whilst clearly under the influence was turned away.
The chav, known only as Carl, was wearing a huge parka style coat, very expensive trainers, a baseball cap and a smarmy grin. He was accompanied by his mother who wore a fetching fake fur one piece and the type of blonde hairdo that you sue over rather than pay for.
The ward, filled with 6 other respectable types, was suddenly filled with the reek of alcohol, a fact not unnoticed by several nurses, as Carl entered. He freely admitted "having a few bevvies last night" and didn't deny having a few that morning either. He was advised by the ward sister that the doctor may not be able to operate, to which Carl and his mother both left to "have a fag outside." He was told that he was also not allowed to smoke before the operation, which didnt stop him.
Having been denied the operation, Carl resorted to trying to charm the hardbitten Northern ward sister, stating that he had driven 106 miles for the operation, then having to admit that his mother had driven because he was too pissed.
As he left, his mother blamed the nurses for having "jinxed" him after they saw him smoking.
The other 6 patients watched them leave in a sort of silent misty-eyed celebration that somewhere in the world, occasionally, something goes the right way sometimes.