Written by Sidney Bollocks

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Saturday, 25 September 2010

image for Up Katie Price
One of Ms Price's many rides

The stylish, upmarket, multi-talented, supermodel, songstress, author, relationship counsellor and polo playing Katie Price has had her vagina re-modelled into a theme park.

Ms Price flew to LA to have the extensive re-working of her vagina undertaken. The work was carried out by celebrity plastic surgeon, and vaginal re-bore specialist, Dr Digger Canyon-Earthmover.

Dr Canyon-Earthmover described the detailed procedure which was carried out. He said, "We began by strengthening the labia with collagen and botox injections, allowing the bouncy castle entrance to be formed, as was requested. In total, we used 500 litres of each. The inner space was created using the Millennium Dome as the template. That was, of course, after we removed significant debris, which included an old horsebox, a pink Range Rover, several homeless people and an obscure Australian pop singer, amongst other items".

Sources close to Ms Price say she is extremely excited about the opening of her new theme park. Rumours are afoot that the park will include rollercoasters, water slides, a crazy golf course, a rain forest and various eateries; one of which is likely to be a franchised Heather Mills Veganburger stall. Retail outlets will sell Ms Price's literary works, limited edition Barbie dolls with unfeasibly large breasts and copies of her new music CD.

Currently, Ms Price is being transported back to the UK, lashed to the deck of a supertanker. On arrival, it is expected that she will be taken to vacant land next to the Sellafield nuclear reprocessing plant and a secure perimeter will be erected.

The new theme park has not yet been given a name, but Ms Price has invited the readers and writers of The Spoof website to submit their suggestions. Answers on a postcard, please.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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