Written by Noddy Bigears
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Topics: Government, Homeless

Tuesday, 17 May 2005

image for Queen's Speech: ID election cards must be used to topple Blair's agenda
Many Britains Fear That They Will Lose Their Identity

The Queen's speech today has damned the Blair Government for taking the British people into the dark ages with corruption, disease in hospitals and taxation levels that take away peoples identities and leave them homeless. She announced today at the opening of the Houses of Parliament that ID election cards will be introduced immediately to avoid any further electoral fraud at which point she dissolved parliament until a fair election can be arranged.


In the most disturbing case so far of a dramatic increase of so many homeless people without identity, a man has been found wandering in and out of the Thames in his clothes. The Inland Revenue have claimed the man, accusing him of losing his identity to avoid the new Blair-Brown-People-Buster tax regime. The poor man is being currently held until the Inland Revenue experts can identify any personnel assets or valuables to seize.


Millions of people have lost their identities in Britain due to the catastrophic electoral postal fraud used by the Labourites to cling to power and political domination. Another disturbing case involved now homeless Mark Thatcher, as he complained from his bus stop shelter in South Africa "I came home from work, parked the car in the drive but my house key would not fit and when the front door did open, my house turned out to be full of Armenians who promptly called the police and had me arrested for stealing my own car." However, Thames Valley police denied his claim insisting, "The man known as Mark Thatcher can neither prove his identity nor his ownership of the assets that he has claimed and therefore, it was straight onto the first plane out of Heathrow."


The Blair Government has consistently denied claims that over 22 million Armenians had been sneaked into the UK prior to the last general election or that any immigrants would have had a postal vote. In fact, a government electoral officer explained, "Of course they would not have had a single postal vote; they would be entitled to two postal votes, one for their UK address and another one for their Armenian home address."


Other individual tragedies included pensioner Michael Howard who had put down a huge deposit on his new ‘off plan' house in Downing Street, only to find that on removal day when he arrived all excited with expectation, the property was occupied with Iraqi squatters. He too, was removed by the Thames Valley police but for deportation to Uzbekistan as the currently lowest cost asylum destination. Once again, the Thames valley police spokesman confirmed "The man who claimed to be Michael Howard had no identity, are you thinking what I am thinking? So of course we had to send him back somewhere."


CEO, Jack Straw from the British Airports Authority confirmed record numbers of departures in the last year but confirmed "No passenger is allowed to board a plane travelling to the UK without a valid Labour Party identity card, otherwise they would have nothing to vote for when they got here."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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