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Wednesday, 22 September 2010

image for Queen's 'copycat MI6 cryptographer stunt' fears for Thursday's Autumn Equinox/Harvest Moon
You're banned from the funeral George because you are a rotten filthy bastard

London - (Day of Judgement Mess): The terminal astrological activity may trigger a right royal RIP disaster Palace lackeys said today.

The likelihood of HM trying to replicate Gareth Williams' hide-and-seek caper with a copycat fatal bagging-up stunt are admittedly slim, at first glance.

But Hellfire Club soothsayers are predicting tomorrow's Autumn Equinox could be the long-expected tipping point for a spot of royal hara kiri.

"Williams' baggage death set the benchmark in latest demise trends," Brigadier Blimey O'Riley commented.

"And of course, any number of the the Queen's monogrammed portmanteaux would be highly suitable for raising the bar in these trendy RIP stakes.

"A Cluedo type of scenario would be 'In a calfskin leather-lined polo holdall, propping up Balmoral Castle's Himmler Suite shower cubicle, dressed in nothing more than her birthday suit and the Rudolph Hesse blood diamonds from her 1945 wedding ceremony,' O'Riley remarked.

"Keep the red tops busy for years to come."

Official government preparations have been in place for a number of years for the return of the Queen's remains to her husband in the Vatican where she could be interred into any one of the satanic crypts reserved for papal families.

An official cremation in Ukraine's Chernobyl reactor plant has not been entirely ruled out, however.

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