London, Tuesday 17 May 2005 (Rioters) UK Prime Minister Tony Blair was arrested in a dawn raid on No 10 Downing Street this morning and charged with treason - on the day that was scheduled to be the official State Opening of Parliament and a Labour Party hallmark triumph following their third successive election landslide.
Officers from the elite Parachute Regiment arrived in the early hours following the news that Queen Elizabeth II had suddenly died during the night from a heart attack after being informed that "Toxic Tone" was about to be charged with the 1998 murder of 29 civilians in Omagh, Northern Ireland.
And that he had personally masterminded the Iraqi Oil-for-Fraud scam which not only financed Malcom Glazer's weekend purchase of Manchester United Football Club but also successfully libelled maverick ex-Labour MP George Galloway as the secret beneficiary of 20 barrels of Saddam's snake-oil aromatherapy treatments that ended up in massage parlours run by former Blairite 'lifestyle guru' Ms Carole Caplin.
Blair and his wife Cherry Bush QC were taken to a secret military compound believed to be not unadjacent to the vaults beneath the Tower of London, where a special Provisional Ministry of Defence welcoming committee awaited them along with specialists from the National Poisons Unit (polygraph division).
A convoy of bomb-proofed military escort vehicles brought the Blairs to the compound where key members of his front bench team were also being held, along with MI6 supremo John "Captain" Scarlett, former MI5 head Stella Rimington, General Sir Michael Jackson, Tory MPs John Redwood, Ian Duncan Smith, Nicholas Soames, Lady Thatcher, John Major and over 100 other Conservative Party stalwarts.
As UK television cameras were taking up their central Westminster positions in preparation for the day's scheduled live coverage of the State Opening of Parliament, a frantic telegram from the Vatican was received at the London offices of the Daily Fascist newspaper in Canary Wharf .
"This is what happens when arrogant politicians ingore the prophecies of Fatima, the greatest ever Middle Eastern psychic to be beatified by His Late Holiness Pope Roberto Calvi.
"We warned repeatedly that a Nazi smear campaign involving "17 carnations" would rebound on its perpetrators if the numbers added up right. And today is the 17th of May, a landmark date in the Lourdes prophecies calendar.
"Now Fatima's last prediction is vindicated and the entire Freeman KGB family is to face capital charges, in accordance with the sub-text recommendations found in the last quatrains of Notradamus's work.
"The Holy Father regrets that has washed his hands of the matter and says there is nothing more he can do. So barring a miracle, Amen."
Meanwhile in Washington DC, a quietly confident Respect MP George Galloway was preparing for his prime-time TV appearance before the US Senate Committe on the Oil-for-Fraud fiasco. "I have no comment to make whatsoever," he giggled, "apart from bloody-well-told-you-so".