Archaelogical Department, University of Oxbridge: Exciting news from the usually sleepy world of archaeology, Dr Penny Horlick, a prehistoric archaeologist at the University of Oxbridge, has found a living example of prehistoric man, the australopithecus, a very early form of man with a consequent smaller brain.
The identified specimen was originally identified by a member of the Press, as Neanderthal man. However, this was not so, according to Dr Penny Horlick, who notes;
"Neanderthal man is much maligned, and to compare him to Bob Crow, who is a thick, whining, militant trouble-maker, is just not right. If you must compare him to prehistoric man, perhaps you could use australopithecus, a much earlier form of man with a much smaller brain, like that of Bob Crow."
"Bob Crow is nowhere near as evolved as Neanderthal man and certainly shows none of his strengths, such as adaptation to cold, rituals, art and stone tool-making."
Recently Bob Crow created a touchline row at a football match where he was a guest of honour, taunting Morcambe manager Sammy McIlroy during a League Two play-off semi-final against Dagenham and Redbridge. Bob Crow who earns £129,000 a year running the RMT, was told by stewards that he would be forced to leave the ground if he continued heckling.
During the first half, Bob Crow started to shout obscenities at McIlroy, who described Mr Crow's rant as 'diabolical'. Sammy McIlroy said;
- "He never shut up all game. He was rude, ungentlemanly, disrespectful and to be frank, a total a*******."
However, the RMT said the incident was "nothing more than lively banter", others disagree.
Bob Crow has been likened to a 'throw-back', both in his politics and his behaviour. It has been suggested that Bob Crow's £129,000 salary makes a mockery of his claim to be a man of the people and that he has no real concern for them as his power rest on his union's ability to blackmail the public, every time they want more money or better conditions.
After Transport for London offered workers an inflation adjusted pay rise, Crow described TfL's approach to pay as "confrontational".
Many describe Bob Crow as a communist and nothing more than a bully, who uses his industrial muscle to cower people. An example of this, was when it spilled over into his leisure activities, watching football.
Bob Crow has also been described as a dinosaur, long overdue for another asteriod to render his species extinct, but that would not doubt be described as unfair to dinosaurs. Again we will leave Dr Penny Horlick, to reiterate her claim;
- "Neanderthal man is much maligned, and to compare him to Bob Crow, who is a thick, whining, militant trouble-maker, is just not right. If you must compare him to prehistoric man, perhaps you could use australopithecus, a much earlier form of man with a much smaller brain, like that of Bob Crow."