Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 19 September 2010

image for Local Man Auctions Frank Sinatra's Pork Pie Hat On The Internet - Wife Furious
This Is Just A Picture Of A Crap Hat, Once Worn By Bing Crosby

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today proudly announced that he was to auction Frank Sinatra's pork pie hat on a well known internet auction site - which E-bay or E-Bay dot disclose, depending on whether he has a cold or dot.

But within minutes of the announcement, controversy reared its ugly head - and the next door neighbour popped her head up over the back garden fence, which was even uglier than the controversy.

Even with her back turned.

Never has such an ugly head raised its terrifying profile in the Shuttlecock back garden.

Not even Martin Shuttlecock's.

He announced that he was selling the Sinatra pork pie hat in order to fund the purchase of a new mountain bike, and indicated that he expected the hat to raise something in the region of £750.

"I expect Frank Sinatra's pork pie hat to raise something in the region of £750," a smiling Martin Shuttlecock informed us.

But long suffering wife, Anne was quick to pour cold water on Shuttlecock's outlandish plan to sell the Sinatra pork pie hat. She told us:

"Don't listen to a word that idiot says. It isn't Frank Sinatra's pork pie hat at all. It's one I bought him at TK Maxx for a fiver. One size fits all - although it's stretching it a bit, with his big gasometer head. He's just got a marker pen and written 'This Hat Belongs To Francis Albert Sinatra' on the inside. He thinks he's being clever, but I'm not having him rip my E-bay ratings all to hell for the sake of some cheap scam."

Shuttlecock admitted that his wife may have a point, but confirmed that he plans to go ahead and auction Elvis Presley's carpet slippers.

"You can tell they were Elvis's," he told us. "Look, it's got written inside them in marker pen - 'These Carpet Slippers Belong To Elvis Aaron Presley.' That's proof innit?"

It is possible - providing Elvis Presley shopped in Marks And Spencer's in 2008.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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