Written by Noshing Mink
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Topics: Pope

Sunday, 19 September 2010

image for Westminster Six released without charge after police advised that "being foreign isn't a crime"
"Foreigners spotted at Number 10 Acacia Gardens, go, go go!"

Police in London have released six male cleaners aged between their 20s and 50s who had previously been arrested following the Pope's visit.

Chief Inspector Savage of the Metropolitan Police, who had co-ordinated the dawn arrests of the men, believed to be mainly Algerian, told a press conference that they had been seen wearing brightly coloured shirts, talking in foreign accents and not ordering a full English breakfast in a cafeteria, which had prompted a member of the public, whom he described as a "public hero", to ring the police, who sent an armed response unit to break down the doors of the café and take the men into custody.

He added that there were certain additionally suspicious features of the case, including the facts that at least three of the men had moustaches, one even had a beard, the word "Pope" was used in their conversation and none of them were carrying their passports, drivers' licences and bank statements.

However, the men's solicitor pointed out that "being foreign isn't a crime" and the six had to be released.

The owner of the cafeteria told us, under anonymity, that the police didn't need to break the doors down, but could have walked in since the place was open for business, and nor was it necessary for them to smash all the tables and chairs to get to the six, since there was plenty of room to navigate the furniture in the café safely. He added that he has since taken falafel off the menu, to avoid any more misunderstandings with the police.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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