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Sunday, 19 September 2010

image for Pope Benedict goes to wrong cathedral in Westminster
Anyone seen my Church

The Pope made a very common - but highly embarrassing - mistake when he tried to take mass yesterday in London. He initially turned up at Westminster Abbey - knowing that is where the Kings of Queens of England have been crowned, where the greatest minds that the nation has produced are commemorated and next to the Houses of Parliament. Westminster Abbey stands nobly at the end of Whitehall - where the great offices of state are kept. So obviously the Pope thought that's where he had been booked.

But, unfortunately what no-one told him is that he was actually scheduled for a gig in Westminster Cathedral. This is a monstrosity a mile up Victoria Street from the Abbey, tucked away from the shops and Victoria station.

Initially the Pope turned up at Westminster Abbey expecting crowds and jubilation. He merely saw a group of Japanese tourists - who asked him to take their picture. This he did gladly. He wandered around a little - obviously embarrassed in his finest gowns, all glammed up for a full on mass and feeling quite out of place.

Eventually a security guard approached him."Are you a catholic?" The man asked his Holiness.

"I am young man I am - bless you my child." Said Benedict

"Then sling ya hook before we burn you." Said the guard - unnecessarily aggressively. "You want the Cathedral up the road."

Pope Benedict thanked the man, hoiked up his robes and ran the mile up Victoria Street arriving just in time.

Afterwards a spokesperson said: "The pope made a mistake. His infallibility isn't want it used to be."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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