Wimbledon - (Gay Ass Mess): Rough trade has swamped the leafy streets of SW19 where the Vatican's apostoloic nonce-io is playing host to Benny and the lads.
Dressed in altar boy ruffs and fishnet stockings the sluts from the Parkside Pleasure Palace have been serenading His Holiness with midnight renditions of 'YMCA' and 'I Will Survive'.
On Thursday night some of the brothel's top slappers managed to climb a drainpipe at No 54 where the Pope is staying and entered 'via a back passage' the residency's inner sanctum.
"They looked a bit rough in ther morning when security finally turfed them out on their arses," Wimbledon milkman Reg Bottel said today, "but so did the papal entourage!
"Whole place has now been fumigated, of course, though the whiff of church incense is still getting up locals' noses.
"Lord knows what kind of muck might be blocking up the drains..."
Msgr Georg Gangswine is 69.