Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Saturday, 18 September 2010

image for Ex-employee to blow lid on ex-PM's sex secrets.
A single brass farthing.

An ex-employee of Downing Street, who was allowed unusually intimate access to a recent Prime Minister and his wife, is set to write her memoirs. In the wake of a failed business enterprise, in which she offered foot massages, toe nail clippings and tarot card readings to the rich and shameless, she now doesn't have two brass farthings to rub together and is desperate to avoid having to get a real job.

The ex-stripper is understood to have been told every detail of the PM's sex life, courtesy of his rather indiscreet wife. Whatever advice then followed, it seems it was a huge success, as the PM's wife was soon up the duff.

Given the PM's schedule, and the fact that he barely had time to sleep four hours a night, one can only imagine that much of the couple's sex life would have occurred in his absence.

Possibly, the advice given to the PM would have been along the lines of: Gently caress her, kiss her, carefully tie her hands and feet to the bed with silk scarves, apply the silk blindfold, leave the room, summon an aide, slip him twenty quid and go make that phone call to George Dubya...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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