As the Pope touched down in England this morning, the storm of controversy surrounding his state visit increased as it emerged that The Sun newspaper has linked the disappearance of Maddie to the Pope's whereabouts three years ago.
Maddie, whose parents cannot be named for legal reasons, disappeared in Portugal around the same time as Pope Benedict was working as a travel rep for Thomas Cook in the same village.
It is alleged that Maddie, who cannot be named for legal reasons, may have been abducted by the Pope 'because he was a Catholic and that's what they do'. The Sun says it has passed on the information to the Portuguese police but they won't do anything because they don't care, do they?
Maddie's parents, Karen and Gerald Threat-of-litigation-is-too-strong-to-even-mention-their-names, who recently won the National Lottery but won't receive the money because they couldn't be named for legal reasons, have welcomed the move. 'We has our suspicions about the Pope during the holiday. He was all 'pontiff-this' and 'vatican-that' and he was far too eminent for our liking.'
The Pope will be hanging around for most of the day in churches and plans to go and see The Expendables at some point.