London - (Goodbye England's Woes Mess): The mass ablution of congenital sins will take place in the open air at London's Hype Park this Saturday.
Weeks of preparation have seen thousands of gallons of disinfectant dumped into the Memorial Fountain's crystal healing waters ahead of the Hellfire Club ceremony.
Pilgrims to St Di's shrine will be able to partake in the mass Ganges-style ducking at which Papa Ratzi will officiate.
Isle of Dogs residents Flo and Ebenezer Warlock said today they had waited for ages for such a chance and might be bringing their pet rottweiler Timmy along.
Officially dogs are banned from the high bling event.
But the presence of Poodlebrother Tony Blair and his bitch-from-hell spouse Cherry Bush is seen by many as a sign of canine appeasement.
"The Hyde Park ceremony will be the dog's bollocks," Kennel Club officials said today.