Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 14 September 2010

image for Hampstead ganja dealers desolate as George Michael goes to jail
And it's bong hits 4 George Michael at the start of his jail sentence today

London - (High Times): The North London weed dealing economy is facing penury as top Hampstead toker George Michael heads for HMP Wormwood Scrubs tonight.

The singer got eight weeks for pranging his motor in Hampstead High Street in a combustible tragedy blamed by some on a bit of dodgy skunk.

Local Green Party herbalist Skanky Dave sobbed as Michael, 69, was lead away in shackles to start a 28 day detox.

"Mah best customa! How will I feed the babes back home now?" Skanky cried as the cuffs were slapped on Michael's wrists.

The singer will serve four weeks in the Scrubs' dopers wing followed by a month on licence.

A SatNav-enabled ankle bracelet and remote-controlled cannabis detector will be fitted during the parole stage and may be reinstated at any given moment if he breaks a five year driving ban imposed today.

Highbury Corner Magistrates Court heard how Michael wrote off his 'ninth or tenth' SUV while driving under the influence.

Judge Perkins also fined Michael £1,250 - "about the same as a day's recreational skunk use" - and banned him from charging up prison inmates' rechargable cannabis patches (similar to nicotine patches used by wannabe cigarette quitters) by letting them be placed on his arm.

Boyfriend Kenny Goss is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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