Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 14 September 2010

image for Insurgent Terrorists attack Sainsbury's and blow up coffee machine!
Bin Laden look-alike blows up Sainsbury's coffee machine and legs it!

A suicide bomber disguised as a Sainsbury's coffee machine cleaner secretly planted a device at their supermarket in Farnsborough, UK today.

He actually wanted to be blown up with the coffee machine, but a waitress spotted him behaving suspiciously behind the machine, also he just happened to be wearing a Taliban turban instead of the usual Sainsbury's striped cappy?

She alerted security and he made a dash for the entrance being pursued by a 85 year old Granny wielding a massive wooden stick and screaming "bloody N*****s," she was later arrested for screaming racist insults!

The coffee machine duly exploded showering the staff and customers with capucchino, hot chocolate and Latte Machiatto with or without sugar!

Apart from that nobody was injured, killed or maimed, luckily.

Sainsbury's have now stepped-up security and refuse to employ anybody in the future either wearing Taliban turbans or Burkas which rules out 99% of Bradford, Birmingham and Solihull.

Islamic Fundamentalists living off of the UK state have launched an official protest against Sainsbury's latest employment conditions and have vowed to attack other coffeee machines if they are not reversed! (welcome to modern day Britain!)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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