Written by j.w.
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Topics: life

Sunday, 12 September 2010

image for Longevity Scare
Too much wind in his sails

What started as a joke is becoming the scare story of the year. Mates Vlad Putin Russian Tsar and Savio Berlesconi, Italian Top Celebrity, were swapping jokes when the Italian was requesting funds to increase research into how to increase the average lifespan.

The two Chief Men felt they could stay in thier jobs until they were 120. Shares fell in Moscow and Rome at this suggestion. 'You can have too much of a good thing' quipped a Mafia Boss 'but you should never have too much of a bad thing.'

Those lining up for the 120 challenge are Robert Mugabe, Barrack Obama and David Cameron. Mathematicians calculate that the first of them to get to 120 would be Mugabe, but he came out against the idea: 'This is another example of Brown putting out evil rumours as colonialists always do!' When it was explained that Gordon Brown was no longer the British Prime Minister, Mugable declared this was 'another silly trick from Brown'.

Obama and Cameron would be 120 next century when sea levels would be leaving Britain underwater. 'He will need googles to carry on until then' said Government scientific adviser Prof Long.Obama will find his country experiencing continual hurricanes. 'That will take the wind out of his sails' joked Hillary Clinton.

In fact, this whole attempt at comedy has come apart and no one is laughing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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