A huge security operation has been initiated following rumours that Pope Bendy Dick intends to visit several children's homes on his UK visit. Hundreds of CCTV cameras have been installed at each establishment and extra police deployed.
The Vatican has defended his decision by stating that "The Pope loves all of God's children, their children's children and their children's children's children. Despite the contribution of recent technological developments like computers and mobile phones, it is only by getting as close as physically possible that they will have a tangible experience of feeling a part of his enormous flock."
Foreign Secretary, William Hague, says he has given the Pope his full support. "My sincere hope is that the children involved will be deeply touched by the Peace he wants to share with them."