Written by Everyman
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Topics: Nick Clegg

Sunday, 12 September 2010

image for Nick Clegg's cock causes embarassment in Downing Street
Clegg's policies - cock-eyed?

Nick Clegg's cock is increasingly a cause of embarrassment within Number 10 Downing Street, this website can reveal. "It is enormous" said one female aide:"You walk into a room and, you know, there it is. It's very distracting because you can't concentrate on anything else."

Nick Clegg bought the cock during a trip to Mexico - when he saw it at an illegal fight in Itzapalapa. He smuggled it through customs in a diplomatic bag - and it has been his constant companion ever since. The cock - who is known as "Cock" - sits in the corner of the room during the Deputy PM's meetings. Clegg speaks to the bird in Spanish - something civil servants find very offputting, as most do not speak the language having studied Classics at Oxford.

David Cameron will not be drawn on the issue: "Nick's cock is his own business. I personally don't have a problem with it, but I don't think Nick would mind those who are uncomfortable with his cock, talking to him about it."

He then paused: "I am more bothered about the fact that his penis keeps flopping out of his flies."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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