People claiming benefits have had enough of politicians lazing around the House of Commons and talking utter crap. Moreover, they are furious that they are now turning on the poor and accusing the needy of being scroungers while they claim expenses using a nice new generous credit card system which was introduced recently after the expenses scandal.
"I think they have had their day, don't you?" said out-of-pocket graduate Randy Dole who stays up every night sending off upwards of 500 online CVs a week. "Sometimes I don't get to bed until 6am".
Unfortunately every morning I get woken up by this jerk of a politician called Osbourne who lives next door to me. He intentionally slams his front door loudly on his way to his job in the morning. Often he shouts out: "Wake up you lazy layabout! Why don't you get a bloody job, you scum!"
I have no idea what his problem is. One morning I even spotted him trying to peer through my drawn curtains! What a pervert, eh?"
Another jobseeker, Benny Fit, agrees. "I think there should be time limits on MPs whereby they have to actually do something that improves the lives of ordinary people instead of making matters worse all of the time. If they haven't achieved anything positive and substantial within this time period, say, 6 months then they should be sacked and their salaries and fringe benefits terminated.
Mr. Osbourne was unavailable for comment. His curtains were drawn at 7pm. When contacted by phone he said that he had to be in bed early for a meeting the next day and was also keen to catch up with the last 10 episodes of Eastenders.