Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Thursday, 9 September 2010

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So-called "newspaper" the Daily Mirror is reporting today that other vice girls are urging the two tarts at the centre of the Wayne Rooney scandal to "put a sock in it."

The Mirror's report comes a whole day after rumours broke that prostitutes were anxious about their income following the revelations by Jenny Thompson and Helen Wood.

They are worried that highly paid footballers will stop buying their services if the girls can't keep mum.

As I reported 24 hours before the Mirror "broke" this "news", I reported that "Juicy" Jenny Thompson was being drummed out of the hooker's union for her indiscretion.

Ellis Ian Fields - always first with the news that counts!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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