Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 8 September 2010

image for Celestial death spiral appears over Balmoral
Piss orf George, I'm still very much alive, hic...

Scotland - (Portents): The IRAs 23166+1655-designated dust spiral in the constellation of Pegasus was spotted by the Hubble telescope this morning.

The phenomenon, known as a pre-planetary nebula, is a classic prelude to a super star's end, traditionally heralding the onset of imminent death.

Its sighting above Balmoral Castle sparked fears that Old Fatty Mountbatten won't make it past Saturday's 9th anniversary of her greatest ever accomplishment - the 9/11 destruction of the World Trade Center.

The last time a similar dust spiral appeared over Great Britain was in the 17th century when pyrotechnic nutter Guido Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament.

Previous sightings include at the ritual immolations of French national heroine Joan of Arc and first female pontiff Pope Joan.

When former US President Ronald Reagan snuffed it back in 2004 a similar death star, but sporting 'demonic' scarlet horns, was seen spiralling out of control in the Serpent constellation.

Frantic NASA boffins worked day and night to prevent the horn imagery from being published, fearing a credulous American electorate might think Reagan 'was the devil incarnate'.

Astronomers at Jodrell Bank said today there was no truth in reports the latest dust spiral emanation appeared to be daubed with a swastika sign.

Prince Charles is totally off his trolley.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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