Written by P Turton
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Topics: Japan, Birth

Monday, 21 July 2003

image for Peter Stringfellow to Loan Libido
Stringfellow: Enough libido to go around

Peter Stringfellow is to loan his libido to Japan in an attempt to halt it's declining birth rate, it was announced yesterday.

Japan has experienced a decline in birth rates over the last thirty years, which economists fear could lead to serious economic problems for the country.

Experts hope that a short-term loan of Stringfellow's libido could reverse the situation, boosting population growth and promoting economic stability.

The part time club owner and full time lothario offered his services after learning about Japan's greying population from some drunken tourists in his club.

"They were eyeing up some prize crumpet I had imported from Croatia and I schmoozed over to talk to them," he said. "Naturally the conversation turned to reproduction and I was shocked to learn of the potential problems in store for the Japanese economy."

Mulleted Stringfellow, more famous for his collection of busty nubile blondes, who he stuffs and mounts will begin the loan in the Autumn.

"Hey, I'm a generous guy, if I can help these poor J*ps out with their horn problems I will, but first I want to spend the summer getting my own rocks off," said Stringfellow before groaning loudly and scuttling off into the toilet with a suspicious kimono bulge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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