Wayne Rooney experienced some competition today, before the Switzerland game, with strikers in London and Paris endangering his position as the No 1 Striker.
In Paris, the French are objecting to the retirement age being raised to 62 - on hearing the news a large contingent of British 61 year olds were seeking accommodation in France and asking for political asylum. In that way they could become French citizens.
Their applications were thought likely to be successful because the French have always loved British sang froid.
'We need to balance our hot blood with some cold blood' said Mme Sakorsky 'in that way we will have a well balanced nation.'
Londoners found getting to work harder than usual because of a strike on the Underground aimed at the cuts to services that would mean fewer staff at stations. 'Given time' a London Transport official explained 'there should be far fewer people going to work anyway so fewer staff makes a lot of sense.'
Tony Blair book signings are proving difficult with strikers underming the event by stopping enthusiasts getting to the venue on time. Blair was unfazed: 'I had to wait a long time before Mo Mowlam fixed things in Northern Ireland. Taking the credit for her initiative is about the only thing I can boast about.'
He found the people keen to purchase his signed book eventually found the way, just had Mo had, of boosting his ego.
'We beat the strikers' declared our former Prime Minister, with a toothy smile 'I knew my fans would get there. Some even left their shoes for me.'