Written by Philip Wright
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Monday, 6 September 2010

image for Sir Attenborough Quits TV After Tribe Encounter
The Long-Lost, "Satire Tribe."

World famous documentary filmmaker and nature lover, David Attenborough has quit television after declaring the world is now, "too small to explore."

In an interview with BBC radio, the 84 year old national treasure poured his heart out, after returning from a three month visit to a long-lost Amazonian tribe.

Attenborough trekked for eleven days on two plastic hips, enduring mosquitos, poor food, exhaustion and dangerous animals.

It was on the twelfth day, that he stumbled into a clearing and found the rarely seen, "Satire Tribe."

"I walked into the clearing- exhausted." Attenborough recalled during the interview, "The tribe stood and stared at me with grass skirts, spears and bizarre body piercings. There was a choking tension in the air... I could sense a BAFTA as our TV cameras rolled... The Village Chief proudly marched up to me, held out his hand and said, "Alright Dave- fancy a cuppa?"

Sir Attenborough bowed his head and took a long, painful intake of breath as he recalled the scene.

"His English was better than your average Geordies. I couldn't believe it. I knew it was all over for me then. Most so-called 'lost' Tribes have appeared on more television shows than Katie Price. Honest to God, there's a Mongolian Tribe on IMDB. There's nothing left for me to find. I quit."

BBC3 plans to show a, "Best Of Attenborough Marathon Day" next month, as they have nothing better to screen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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