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Monday, 6 September 2010

image for Jennifer Thompson 'an upmarket version of Kate Middleton' says hooker agency
File photo from today's Daily Shagger

Manchester - (Ass Mess): The Salford Slappers Escort Agency said today Thompson started off as a stunt double for some of Kate's less palatable early assigments (don't ask!)

The two brunettes' physical resemblance was uncanny and spawned a whole new tribe of Premiership WAG lookalikes such as John Terry's Vanessa Perroncel.

Apart from the actual physical location of botox, silicon and nipple filler implants Kate and Jen 'were like two peas in a pod' - prompting hugely lucrative threesome shagging offers.

"Of course Jenny wouldn't touch Prince William with a bargepole," Agency talent spotter Ruby Snatch commented today.

"No real money there, only 'prospects'. And that means hanging around for years on end while some kind of long term contract is thrashed out behind closed doors."

Thompson's reported £1,200-a-pop shagging trysts with Man U striker Wayne Rooney have rocked the nation ahead of tomorrow night's vital England v Switzerland needle match.

Meanwhile back in Wales Kate Middleton has been told to pack her belongings at the royal shaggiong cottage where she's been hanging around since March.

William's return to an on-base tour of duty will see him bivouacked under the watchful eye of RAF Valley's senior warden.

"Still, plenty of rough trade there to keep him occupied now that he's ostensibly passed the hetero image test," Snatch added.

Chelsy Davey is 69.

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