With all the Pomp and Ceremony usually associated with a Papal-or at very least, a Louie Walsh visit-Tony Bliar,the defunct oberfuhrer of the dreaded New Labour Fourth Reich arrived in Dublin to promote his utterly tasteless Autobiography:"The Machiavellian Cronicles".
Arriving at 'Poundland' in fashionable downtown O'Connell Street and surrounded by dust laden copies of his spouses crap book, "Fanks For the Memories Mate", Bliar settled back, pen in hand ready for the book signing extravaganza.
Unfortunately for him, Bliar was soon surrounded by an angry, baying, abusive, disappointed mob who had been told that Daniel O'Donnell would be signing copies of HIS new book, "For All The Choirboys I Have Known"
As Dublin Police struggled to contain the now violent mob, Mr Bliar found himself on the receiving end of a size 14 steel toe-capped workmans boot!This in turn saw Bliar go down faster than the fabled Monica Lewinsky and he was on his knees in nano-seconds! One burley, irate Mick was heard to say;"while yer down there Tone" before having his coller felt by a copper wielding a copy of Cherie Blairs book!
Regaining his composure without losing his permanently fixed 'Alfed E. Neuman' grin, Bliar attempted to soothe the situation by way of an improvised acapella version of, "Oh Danny Boy". Much to his regret this earned him a second boot which found it's target perfectly-right in his groin!
Going down for the second time Mr Bliar was heard to cry, "Bill, bill where for art thou?"-a reference to his close drinking buddy and pimp, Bill Clinton.
In keeping with his own mantra, things did indeed 'only get better' as he was then pelted with rotten eggs, the contents of which smothered his face, dripped off his chin and down his suit. All of which reminded him of that first pre-election night in 1997 when he was all sexed up and banging the arse of off Cherie who ended up sitting on his face and having a multiple orgasm.
As Police gave up all hope of controlling the violent crowds Mr Bliar was given the bumsrush out of the back of the store and hastily driven off to his next engagement, at Poundstretcher.
SKY news cougar, Kay Burley, is hoping to accomodate Bill Clinton when he is next in London and is considering mouth widening cosmetic surgery.