Fabio Capello always knew Rooney liked a bit on the side, but a right swinger was not always available. 'His trouble' said the England manager 'is that he can easily stray offside. His brain appears to be between his legs.'
This startling discovery by Capello has been confirmed by scientists who are finding this amazing physical development in a number of football players.
'It appears to be associated with fame and fortune' explained Professor Hardon 'the high living appears to influence the testicles so that they become alternative brains.'
Several footballer's lovers have commented on the increased brain power being found between footballers legs. 'Now I realise what that swelling mound is' said Debbie Flashnet, who is close to a famous foot ball star.
The Australian football coach has commented that he knows all about Roo's complaint. 'We know about Roos in Australia' he advised 'they know how to jump for their balls - now Rooney should try heading for a change.'
If Rooney plays against Switzerland they are determined to tackle him head on, so that they can expose his flagging reputation.
Nigella Lawson, football enthusiast and wonder cook told me that she would be be cooking Roo baked potatoes with lashings of dribbling butter. 'They will slip into his mouth and give his taste buds a real thrill.'
Young England hopefuls are declaring that the old man (their way of referring to Wayne) has been on top for too long. 'We need to push him aside and then fill the hole in the centre' announced one of them 'anyway Roo's influence is wayneing in the England dressing room where cross dressing is now all the rage.'