At the old Bailey today, the grand old duke of york, or "Dukey" as his chums in the war office have to come to know him, is currently on trial for war crimes.
Charges as serious as this are often only reserved for tyrants like Saddam Hussein, Stalin and Walt Disney, but today, the realities of cruelty and extended periods of hardship are all true.
The specific charges include hardship to his soldiers by marching them up the hill, and then back down again. Many soldiers experience minor injuries such as athletes foot and painful corns, others come off much worse, some cases of thirst and dizzyness have been reported.
Shocking to believe, but oh so real, many suspect that "Dukey" began a tyrannical reign of power, including brainwashing, one source told us that all the kings horses and all the kings men were forced to end their egg duty and march up the hill and back down again.
Our correspendants will keep us updated.