Written by Noddy Bigears
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Animals, Britain

Tuesday, 3 May 2005

Mad Cow disease was believed to have been eradicated from Britain but now it has been discovered again in small field near the top secret Portman Down facility used to test Genetically Modified crops. The GM crops are fed to a range of farm animals including pigs, chickens, sheep and cows.

Initially, the trials seemed to have demonstrated that GM crops had no adverse effect on the animals and indeed, their growth rates and health appeared to have been similar to other animals fed non GM foods but Government scientists monitoring the programmed noticed that some of the off spring started to show some unexpected unpleasant side effects.

It seems that some of the GM crops have directly adsorbed microwaves containing the Labour Party Lies & Spin Doctoring and that when the animals have consumed these crops, they themselves have been Genetically Spin Modified leading to the offspring containing the DNA of some of the Labour politicians.

A small herd of Friesian cows has been contaminated with Tony Blair's lies and deception and it appears that they will have to be culled if the infectious genetic modification is to be stopped from spreading to other animals. Fortunately, identification of the infected animals is relatively simple due to the fact that they sport a limb or other physical appendage of the Labour leader.

However, a top government civil servant who refused to identify himself, suggested "Tony Blair knows that his lies and deception have got him into trouble, so he ordered the cloning to Spin Doctor an alternative image but it all went horribly wrong when he got mixed up with the GM crops." And added hastily, "it is inevitable that anybody brutally involved with Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) risks genetic modification due to radiation."

Top scientist and Professor of Genetic Modification, University of Gloucester, Erik Ramsfelder, confirmed to The Spoof "The British Government has contaminated large parts of the eco-system with their lies and uncontrolled Spin Doctoring, it was inevitable that sooner or later the genetic modification would take hold and start to spread." And he added "The first symptoms include a gazed starry look as well as very significant finger wagging followed by constant denial of publically known facts."

Nevertheless, it appears that there is some good news, it is hoped that the Labour Party DNA is intrinsically unstable and once the contaminated animals have been culled, any further infection can be avoided by simply confining the source material indefinitely without any further Spin Doctoring trials.

Make Noddy Bigears's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 4?

3 7 22 8
113 readers are online right now!

Go to top