Written by Stevey G.
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Topics: Immigration, Asylum

Friday, 3 September 2010

image for UK households forced to take in asylum seekers
Lions of Longleat eagerly await arrival of asylum-seekers

The problem of immigration and asylum-seekers continues to dominate the news, not least the problem of where to locate the large numbers of applicants, whilst their individual cases are being processed.

A leaked government document suggests that every household in the UK will shortly be required to accommodate one asylum-seeker for every spare available bed-room in their house.

Immigration Minister Damien Green confirmed that this was one of the options that the Government were considering.

'It seems the obvious solution', he said earlier today.'If you are only using two or three bedrooms in a four bedroom house, then surely it's not unreasonable to temporarily accommodate some poor unfortunate who has been driven from his or her own country.'

Mr Green confirmed that the Government were considering a small allowance to households recruited into the scheme and was confident that initial security checks on the applicants would ensure that the public would not be placed at risk.

The proposed scheme has unsurprisingly produced a significant amount of opposition, particularly from owners of large houses and second-homes.

In stark contrast the current Marquess of Bath and owner of Longleat House, home of the famous lions of Longleat, has described the scheme as 'visionary'.

'We have 57 spare bedrooms here at Longleat', he stated. 'Most are large rooms and could easily accommodate more than one person. Send as many as you like, fresh meat is so expensive these days!!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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